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Post by kenny on Dec 11, 2005 23:09:30 GMT -5
Belive it or not, the ending IS cliche. It is almost how "Borune Identity" ended, because Conklin [Chris Cooper] gets capped at the end by Picot.
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Post by kenny on Dec 11, 2005 23:11:15 GMT -5
And that was my intention.
However, this film is quite a bit less campy than "Leviathian," for obvious reasons. Sure, it's a film about a government conspericy to control people, but it is delivered in a somewhat more original matter, bringing chemical weapons into the mix of plot.
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Post by kenny on Dec 11, 2005 23:13:34 GMT -5
I too think the ending needs a little work. Somehow, I feel that the story should be extended, so we have William suffering from the partial dose of the drug as it ravages his mind. Something about that. However, I don't know how to set up the rivalry between Sting and Roger. And the unidentified assasain might need some backround too, but I wanted to keep her as a Picot style villain, who darts in and out of obscurity throughout the film.
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Post by bluesabre1 on Dec 11, 2005 23:34:28 GMT -5
Ponder it over. Show us what you're thinking about in writing first. I'd try and lengthen the beginning but overall the story needs to be rounded out.
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Post by kenny on Dec 11, 2005 23:48:18 GMT -5
Howard may need some backround as well. However, I feel that backround bogs down the pace of the film. There has to be something ELSE that can be done to this film! Damn. What else can be done to this script?
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Post by Skywalker on Dec 12, 2005 0:04:53 GMT -5
Bring the script on monday i'll see what i can do to help you with character building.
Talk to eric about scene cutting
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Post by kenny on Dec 12, 2005 20:33:33 GMT -5
All right. I need to get some backstory in on this, but this will have to wait until Christmas Break. I'm not going to have much time.
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Post by kenny on Dec 12, 2005 23:56:00 GMT -5
-SCRIPT DELETED-
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Post by Skywalker on Dec 13, 2005 2:12:16 GMT -5
scene's a definite improvement. just a clarification. is the breifcase man Roger?
now you just need to add more character development scenes
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Post by kenny on Dec 13, 2005 10:34:45 GMT -5
Good. Before I continue writing more scenes, I'll talk with you guys today @ lunch. I brought a copy of the script, (with Scene 3a and the current revisions) so we're good there.
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Post by kenny on Dec 14, 2005 19:53:51 GMT -5
I FOUND A WHITE ROOM!!! Yes, dear friends, it is- uh..... DAMN, I don't recall. I'll see if I can figure out where the hell I found that room... Ooooohhhh!!!!!!!! It's at the Community Center! There are plenty of white rooms there!
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Post by kenny on Dec 14, 2005 19:55:03 GMT -5
Oh, and uh- Eric? What scenes in this film (so far) can be done without?
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Post by Eric T. Jones on Dec 14, 2005 21:29:08 GMT -5
You want my opinion? Right now, try a different ending that sticks with the original premise. It still looks like a sci-fi movie and a post-apocalyptic action movie spliced together with a piece of Scotch tape. The action sequences do sound quite nice, and would look quite great visually, but they don't fit into the film, and neither does that ending.
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Post by kenny on Dec 15, 2005 20:02:35 GMT -5
If I go by your standard, I need to add on to the ending. I'll be writing a new scene for the end, and put that as Tail- end Charlie. (It's where WILLIAM's mind will be ravaged by the virus, he goes nuts, and he runs on a suicide mission to go kill HOWARD. Wait- that sucks, right?)
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Post by kenny on Dec 15, 2005 21:55:42 GMT -5
-SCRIPT DELETED-
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