Aniket Skywalker Das
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Post by Aniket Skywalker Das on Dec 15, 2005 22:50:14 GMT -5
... too abrupt... remove it... it just made it worse
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Post by Eric T. Jones on Dec 15, 2005 23:43:15 GMT -5
I think the new ending was slightly better than the old one, but when I said "change the ending", I wasn't saying "keep the big fat shootout and tack something on afterwards"- that sequence completely distracted from the original premise of suppressing creativity.
Don't write a specific ending because it's not what the audience will see coming- that's what is generally referred to as "style over substance", and the second part of that script most certainly displays that. While it would work fine in "The Last Fight Movie in the Universe", since it's practically a showcase for intricately-choreographed fight scenes, in here, we actually need some consistency with the plot. Makey-sensey?
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Post by kenny on Dec 16, 2005 10:25:12 GMT -5
I told you why- The viral strain malfunctioned and WILLIAM went mentally insane! How obvious can I possibly get! Oh, well... Look, if YOU want to write an ending for this film, go right ahead. I won't stop you. I just can't think of a good ending sequence!!! It's so hard to end this film!
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Post by kenny on Dec 16, 2005 10:27:29 GMT -5
Anyway, I am also working on the subplot about Roger and Sting's rivalry, but I can't think of anything to get them pissed at each other! And does Dave Malley need more lines?
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Post by kenny on Dec 18, 2005 21:54:28 GMT -5
-SCRIPT DELETED-
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Post by kenny on Dec 20, 2005 13:06:32 GMT -5
Uh.... Yeah, some comments please.........?
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Post by Skywalker on Dec 20, 2005 13:12:53 GMT -5
It helps, but you're still going to have to add more to make the movie flow smoothly. I still don't understand sime characters.
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Post by kenny on Dec 20, 2005 17:14:30 GMT -5
Which characters??? God. Tell me which ones! I'm pressed to keep everyone pleased!
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Post by Skywalker on Dec 20, 2005 22:16:02 GMT -5
it's impossible to make EVERYONE pleased. kenny, instead of me telling you... i'm going to ask you to do something. Read your script over again and truly ask yourself. "Is this good enough?" and answer that... truthfully. Only when you feel completly satisfied with the script will the movie truly be good.
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Post by kenny on Dec 21, 2005 14:27:28 GMT -5
However, that sort of pilisophy is the reason the movie buisness even exists today. We have audiences. Critics. There is much to dissuade a perfectly fine script from ever reaching the big time. It is in this mode of thinking that I ask you:
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY SCRIPT!!! (Please laugh at the above line. Please....) Either way, I still need advice on the characters. I think I've come up with quite a bit of backstory already, but I am pressed to come up with a ready reason for Sting and Roger's rivalry, and I can't find one! Then again,. perhaps it really isn't needed. I still don't understand why Eric hates the progression from scene 5 to scene 6.
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Post by bluesabre1 on Dec 25, 2005 11:08:22 GMT -5
I can't speak for him but I think he's looking for a steadier progression rather than just a "cut to". It seems to me to be a stylistic issue so if that's how you want it fine. If scene four connected into scene 6 it would make more sense than a break for scene 5. At least that's what I think he's after.
As far as characters they all read like parodies of real people. I mean they all sound like sterotype of villians, oppressed people, etc. If you developed rivalries and such, you know, characterization , that might help.
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Post by kenny on Dec 30, 2005 21:04:36 GMT -5
True. I just don't have much in the way of character development in mind when I write an idea like this. I like action, and intellectual action as well as violent, viceral action, both appeal to me in a movie. So my script reflects my transition from the "Fight Movies" to better scripts and more plot. M'kay?
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Post by kenny on Dec 31, 2005 15:26:37 GMT -5
And the "Stylistic Issue" between me and Skywalker: Try comparing "The Bourne Supremecy," with claustrophobic, cool, close in fight scenes, to a run-of-the-mill IMAX film, with it's huge, sweeping camera angles.
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Post by kenny on Jan 4, 2006 21:21:47 GMT -5
Bluesabre made me a CD-R of some music he found on newgrounds- he INSISTS it's royalty-free, and a couple of tracks on there I think are good enough to go in the film. (YES, I AM SOBER........ not that I drink or anything, because I don't)
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Post by kenny on Jan 4, 2006 21:23:59 GMT -5
I told you why- The viral strain malfunctioned and WILLIAM went mentally insane! How obvious can I possibly get! Oh, well... Look, if YOU want to write an ending for this film, go right ahead. I won't stop you. I just can't think of a good ending sequence!!! It's so hard to end this film! Oops. I wasn't too clear with that- This happens after Sting and his squad hunt down William, and William takes them down with the help of Roger, who has been betrayed by Howard. Makey-sensey?
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