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Post by bluesabre1 on Apr 29, 2005 22:43:38 GMT -5
I posted the partial script on the Alliance site. Go read it and discuss. I'll have the rest of it finished after I see sufficient egging on to finish it. Mind you it's the first draft so I'm open to suggestions. It will be a Dead Moose Inc. Feature Production.
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Post by Eric T. Jones on May 1, 2005 21:00:40 GMT -5
Well, I tested and edited robot voices, and tried looking for stock footage.
...let's just say they don't quite have all of what you're looking for. A bunch of shitty fradulent websites with the word "free" in their name, yet they charge money for you to download. There's no wide selection, and it's all just plain BULLSHIT.
The closest thing I could find to apes playing in trees was a monkey playing in a tree. ...actually, that's the ONLY thing I found with ANY primate.
It's amazingly hard to find footage of Hitler and the Holocaust, too.
Oh yeah, that only clip is in low quality, typical online video, so yeah.
With the subliminal frame of sex you're asking for (which is probably going to be near-impossible to find, considering most search engines would obviously and understandably block it for adult content, and lead to a porno search (something I do NOT want to do, and will NEVER do. (according to people who have actually visited those sites, there's a million pop-ups and it installs a shitload of spyware onto your computer))), pushes the envelope even further...
Otherwise, I suppose the script moves somewhat slow, but in what I think is an intentional documentary-like feel, almost feels like "The Second Renaissance" in "The Animatrix", in terms of narrative style. I corrected the grammatical and spelling errors before having the TextAloud program output, and I have the two (male and female) spliced together in the order the script presents. Combined with the actual footage of the film, I think we're heading into some pretty deep stuff here... somewhat creepy, too.
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Post by kenny on May 3, 2005 17:41:53 GMT -5
I still havent got the url for the alliance site yet... Eric, can you make a hyperlink?
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Post by bluesabre1 on May 3, 2005 22:20:41 GMT -5
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Post by bluesabre1 on May 6, 2005 20:55:10 GMT -5
SCHEDULE
Note: This script has more directing on the page than is normal. I understand that. Being director, I have taken that liberty.
Black title screen. A white bar in the upper left hand corner flashes. It moves across the screen and types out SCHEDULE. The bar makes the computerized clack sound as it types. It tabs down and begins to type the credits. In the background, the sounds of printers fill all the channels of one’s speakers. Then for a moment. Silence.
P.O.V. The blankets come off the camera. The world is in soft focus for a moment. Then it clears. A speaker in the background chirps happily.
Speaker (A polite Female Voice) Good morning. (Pause) TOM. Your Schedule has been delivered. Have a nice day.
Tom (happily, like greeting one’s family in the morning) Thanks.
COMPUTER (V.O.) They have been trained since birth to follow the schedule. Your task, as the maintenance officers, must insure the printers and computer like me, run smoothly, and complete their allotted tasks.
Exterior. Housing Block Z103
A medium angle of various people emerging from their homes, picking up their fresh schedules and cracking them open for a new day.
A digital clock against a black screen fills the frame.
Computer (V.O.) Humans are inefficient without instruction and incentive. We have decided to place this upon ourselves for the better advancement of human civilization.
Computer (Female Voice) (V.O.) The first task of the morning is usually to assess priorities.
Tom is reading through the Schedule.
Computer (Male) We have been chosen to complete the bulk of this task. Your duty as maintenance officer is too ensure our job is done so that your fellow humans may do theirs.
Tom is sitting at his desk. He’s typing. Making notes. Birds chirp outside. The morning lights filter through the blinds.
Computer Voice (V.O.) The human is pleased in this state. Blissful, engrossed in his labors as he has been trained since youth. Our precipice of advancements stands in stark contrast to the lowly beginnings of human civilization.
Tom checks his Schedule. He gets up and walks past the camera. Some light Mozart plays from his computer speakers.
Computer Voice As you know, our brethren take great pleasure in lunch breaks. Art, mild classical music, and books on the shelf occupy the mind during free time. These are stimulants to provide joy. The life-training allows for great, almost deeply emotional pleasure at a lunch break half an hour earlier. Strangely, the humans still claim to enjoy their work. But you understand this phenomenon better than our predecessor programs.
A shot of a digital clock the minutes tick by quickly as the computer talks.
Computer Voice (V.O.) Ironically, although every day appears to be new this schedule repeats that of September 23rd Schedule, 2 years prior. The one percent of the population that realized this repeat is suppressed.
A violently red eye blinks. Labored breathing against it. Lasts just for a moment.
Computer Voice Suppressed.
The breathing is heard without the eye.
Computer Sadly, suppression is always necessary.
Computer Voice (Female) Tomorrow, Tom 06213 will not receive a Schedule. This lesson is meant for educational purposes. We will follow him over several months.
Labored breathing, a hacking cough.
Computer Voice (Female) I repeat, this is for educational purposes only.
Black. It holds for a half a moment. The digital clock flashes on. The sound of printers warming.
Maintenance Leader Welcome back cadets. This portion of the training is a what-if scenario. It is happening right now just a few blocks from this facility. This is to show the consequences of a failure to don ones’ duty as a maintenance officer. The computer’s need new reams of paper. They need to be kept safe from memory loss or record confusion. And in some rare cases, hacking. This is in the event one man does not receive a schedule for several months. If unchecked, if the victim is, “lost” in the system the demonstration before you will take its course in some variation. If this were to result on a massive scale, say the loss of an entire block of computers, our visionaries are fairly certain a small scale riot would erupt.
The sound of a loud crackling fire.
Ext. Housing Block Z 103
Schedules are delivered. Birds are chirping. People are walking out of their homes. The sun shines. A shot of the digital clock. A shot of everyone picking up their schedules. One does not have a schedule. He stands there. He waves and says hello just like normal. He walks back inside.
Computer (V.O.) We’ve been tracking this one. He complies with his work, yet he has rebellious tendencies. Perfect for our experiment. Note how he tries to go through all the motions, yet he acts as if he conceals a secret. Stopping this is all too easy.
Computer Errors are always corrected. Usually as soon as they are noticed.
Computer (Female) Corrected
Sound of a prisoner being tortured.
Computer But for now, just watch. Relax. Remember this loss of productivity is…<br>
Shot of Tom eating a large breakfast.
Computer (cont.) Unacceptable.
Montage: Tom washes the dishes. Tom sits at the breakfast table listening to the birds. Tom takes a nap. Tom listens to music. Tom draws. Tom meditates in the dark. Tom goes to sleep much later than usual.
Computer This behavior is innocuous. However it is unproductive. Our society does not accommodate this type of free thought.
Computer We are very lucky that a generation of the past realized the futility of war and settled to this present society. Clearly you are the custodians of a brighter future.
A shot of Tom listening to the birds.
Computer The future.
A shot of the Schedule.
Computer (V.O.’d over Schedule) Prolonged over several months, many of the specimens become suicidal through “Cabin Fever.” An attempt at contact with others that still receive Schedules may occur. In these cases there is a 0 percent conversion rate. There is a 40 percent homicide rate.
The sound of someone being strangled.
Computer (Cont.) A 10 percent rate of rape or intercourse.
A shot a wall. Nearby, just to our left from the speakers. We can hear the sound of tortured screams.
Computer (V.O.) Maintaining he Schedule is for the greater good. (Pause) Greater good.
Shot of a digital clock the month has changed up two months.
Computer (Female) (V.O.) Good morning Cadets. Today marks the conclusion of the two month observation period for Tom 06213. This morning we find him lying on the couch. He has just awoken from sleep. As we have seen through the weeks he is close to suicide.
A shot of a printer printing.
Computer (Male) (V.O.) He has stopped trying. He no longer attempts to create the illusion that he receives a Schedule. He has locked the cleaning service out and expressed anger at the ration delivery crews. In addition, his food consumption has decreased far below normal.
A shot of Tom sitting in the corner, his head on the floor.
Computer Voice He stays up late hours, in fear. Experiencing standard human emotions which our society strives to avoid or…eliminate.
A close-up shot on a kitchen blade dropped on the ground. It lies in a pool of dried blood. Panting.
Computer Voice (Female) (V.O.) We are only trying to help. That is your job. To help others.
Computer Voice (Male) By maintaining us. This answers our focus question of the experiment. Through the diligent maintenance of us and our printers, the cruel, unnecessary pain you see before you can be avoided.
Computer Voice (Female) (V.O.) At last we may end the experiment. A simple secretion of cyanide into his food ration. A crew will pick him up in the morning. The designation Tom 06213 will be reassigned to some one else. Thank you. This ends the demonstration.
The camera is still on the corpse of Tom 06123. He appears blissfully asleep from a shot high above him.
Computer Voice (Male) (V.O.) This ends the educational demonstration. A crew will pick him up in the morning.
The pang of a television turning on gives way to the sound of printers. The printer sound rises up and grows louder, after three or four seconds, silence.
Black.
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Post by bluesabre1 on May 6, 2005 20:56:28 GMT -5
The complete Schedule script above for those who can't visit the Alliance site. The Zombiis 2 thread also contains my script so far.
Please make comments. Go ahead. Be honest. And be happy. (Sorry, in joke between Eric and myself.)
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Post by bluesabre1 on May 14, 2005 14:38:48 GMT -5
Looking through this again, I realize I don't want to change a thing. You are still free to make comments though.
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Post by kenny on Jul 26, 2005 16:42:21 GMT -5
......................................Wow. Just reread this. Damn, Bluesabre, you can WRITE! Now if you could work on the dialogue for my (new)graphic novel idea... (In the graphic novel section) WHEN THE HELL DO WE FILM THIS?
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Post by kenny on Jul 26, 2005 16:44:55 GMT -5
What's Wrong? What's Wrong? What's Wrong? What's Wrong? What's Wrong? What's Wrong? What's Wrong? What's Wrong? What's Wrong? What's Wrong? What's Wrong? What's Wrong? (Sorry, couldn't resist doing a "THX 1138" on the board.) (please don't edit this...)
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Post by bluesabre1 on Aug 19, 2005 17:34:49 GMT -5
We can film this as soon as planning is completed. The challenge for this film is to plan it to complete correspondence between the narration and the visual. For the past few days I've considered doing the film myself, as a test of my personal ability. However, I realized that would sacrifice the overall appearance of the project. It's much better to have something look better and have multiple credits than to just have your name up there saying you can work well by yourself but can't work alone proficiently in the director's chair.
Kevin: You have expressed an interest in the project and I'm asking you to storyboard the film. It's not necessary although it would help immensly. I plan on focusing my own attention to storyboarding it rather than writing Eat This, Drink This as my next task.
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Post by bluesabre1 on Oct 15, 2005 22:41:57 GMT -5
Yes, this movie still exists! I reread the script this morning and was intrigued. This really is a good idea. I rewrote a few things and made careful notes about others. My most notable rewrites included crossingout the stock shot clips and replacing them with audio over a black screen or neutral onscreen action. As Spielberg himself said, "A film is 70% audio." Ironic, eh? Anyway, the other thing I pplan to do is make a photographic storyboard. rather than attempting to draw my room and various parts of the house I'll just take photos of them. I've also made a few changes to some of the robot dialogue so any audio files of that sort can be deleted. Don't worry, as the writer I can safely say they are improvements.
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Post by Eric T. Jones on Oct 16, 2005 0:41:23 GMT -5
Speilberg says "a film is 70% audio". Everyone has their little percentages on what films consist of, all different opinions. I still say that the language of cinema is 70% visual, though good sound design is high up on my priority list. However, since we can't do the stock footage (hell, I'd be a hypocrite for criticising that quote, since I'm the one who found it was just about impossible to obtain the footage (without paying a few hundred- it's amazing how hard this stuff is to get!)), I'll let that slide. Once the film is complete, I'll see if I can't give it a killer sound mix- if we can't obtain the environment visually, we can at least obtain it aurally.
Photographic storyboard... interesting method, never heard of it being done before (though I've considered it- looks like someone beat me to the punch).
I'm not deleting the audio files, however useless they may be now. I treasure them like a writer would treasure his rough draft. (okay, so the fact that some writers throw their rough drafts into the fire is far beside the point)
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Post by kenny on Oct 29, 2005 17:30:45 GMT -5
We can film this as soon as planning is completed. The challenge for this film is to plan it to complete correspondence between the narration and the visual. For the past few days I've considered doing the film myself, as a test of my personal ability. However, I realized that would sacrifice the overall appearance of the project. It's much better to have something look better and have multiple credits than to just have your name up there saying you can work well by yourself but can't work alone proficiently in the director's chair. (EDIT: KENNY, YOU DUMBASS!): You have expressed an interest in the project and I'm asking you to storyboard the film. It's not necessary although it would help immensly. I plan on focusing my own attention to storyboarding it rather than writing Eat This, Drink This as my next task.
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Post by bluesabre1 on Nov 25, 2005 22:29:03 GMT -5
Ah. Rereading that quote I am humbled. Everything is so different as months pass. Now I've taken a completely differnet direction. I've finished Eat This Drink This, and I've got Schedule fleshed out in my head. I can't plan shots exactly though, because the audio really determines the length of the visual. This makes sense, because the audio is the driving force of the film. Now I really haven't made a photographic storyboard, so that's still up for grabs. But taking a camera and looking at my House through the lens has brought up some interesting ideas and helped create a visual style beyond what I originally imagined. With that I present to you the finished prop Schedule, which handily enough doubles as the poster for the film.
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Post by bluesabre1 on Nov 25, 2005 22:39:11 GMT -5
Schedule (Release Date) Good morning TOM 06213! (If this is not your number or if you believe there has been a mistake in delivery contact the SERVICE number at the bottom of the page immediately) Today’s Work Period Will Last From: 7:40-6:30 p.m. with breaks for Lunch and Dinner. Enjoy your Day Tom! Today is going to be a great day! Work hard to make it even better than the previous! Remember, your coworkers are counting on you to do the very best job you can. Failure to do so will be severely punished. So be careful and remember that high quality work is one of the greatest joys in life! Today’s Work Period Will Last From: 7:40-6:30 p.m. with breaks for Lunch and Dinner. Enjoy your Day Tom! Preparation Period- 6:40-7:40 a.m. (If this is not the time contact SERVICE staff immediately and we will work towards correcting this as soon as possible.) □ Breakfast- 6:40-7:10- Breakfast today is Cinnamon oatmeal and orange juice. Eat quickly so you can begin work! (If breakfast is not present please contact SERVICE staff at the number below. Press Pound and 1, wait.) □ Personal Hygiene-7:10-7:40- o Brush teeth- Wash tooth brush at second hot water mark (70 F) water for thirty seconds. o Squeeze toothpaste tube from bottom up. (If toothpaste tube is empty contact SERVICE staff immediately. Failure to contact SERVICE staff when a problem occurs will be severely punished!) o Brush teeth gently for 2 minutes. Two minutes will be measured by the toothbrush; the brush will vibrate at the end of the 2 minute period. Remember to brush all of your teeth, or there’s no point in brushing to begin with! o Replace the brush. Wash hands. o Use the toilet if necessary. If toilet use exceeds twenty minutes press the button besides the toilet. If bathroom use exceeds forty minutes SERVICE Staff will be dispatched to your residence immediately. Morning Work Period-7:40-11:00 a.m. (If this is not the time contact SERVICE staff immediately and we will work towards correcting this as soon as possible.) □ First Preparation-7:40-8:00- Activate computer. Press the gray button to activate. If the computer does not activate Contact SERVICE Staff. Assess work remaining load from yesterday. Use Work Analysis Sheet attached on third page to assess work. □ According to analysis of last night’s work your progress has been: ADEQUEATE. □ Secondary Preparation-8:00-9:00 o Activate TPP (icon of a pad of paper with pencil). Begin typing the report according to the instructions attached to page four. If Page 4 is not attached, or if any of the 6 pages of today’s Schedule are missing contact the SERVICE number at the bottom page. o After you have finished steps 1-7 on Page 4 Read on. o DO NOT READ FURTHER UNTIL STEPS 1-7 on PAGE 4 HAVE BEEN COMPLETED! □ First Work Period- 9:00-11:00- o Continue based on the steps denoted on page 4. If Page 4 is not attached, or if any of the 6 pages of today’s Schedule are missing contact the SERVICE number at the bottom page. o If you are bored or wish to take a break, remember, your effort is being monitored! Work hard to please yourself and coworkers. Afternoon Work Period-11:00-4:00 p.m. □ Lunch- 11:00-11:30- Today Half an Hour will be dedicated to Lunch! Enjoy the food marked LUNCH, you’ll find it in the refrigerator and beverage cooler. If no food is found call SERVICE immediately. Hard workers deserve the best food! o Remember to finish lunch in a timely manner. Time taken away from the Schedule is time taken away from everyone you know! o If the food tastes stale or rotten contact SERVICE as soon as possible. Continue working until the dispatch arrives. □ Third Work Period- 11:30-2:00 o This is the most important part of your day! Work diligently according to the instructions on page 5. o Make sure your room is appropriately lit. If a lightbulb quits during work, remember to call SERVICE. o Take careful notes after you’ve reviewed Robert’s analysis. Make sure to send these notes along with your work. Marge and Sampson will respond within the next few weeks as the project nears completion. o You may need to call Gregory for assistance as you approach step 17 on page 6. Gregory has been instructed to await your call, so feel free to as necessary. If his assistance will (Cont. Pg. 2) Dial into telephone in Living Room. DINING ROOM PHONE IS FOR EMERGENCIES SERVICE #: * 1 (Press pound than the 1 key) Police #: *9 (Press Pound than the 9 key) Medical #: * 3 (Press pound than the 3 key) Work #: * 5 (Press Pound than the 5 key) POLICE NUMBER TO BE USED IN ABSOLUTE EMERGENCIES ONLY
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